Posts Tagged ‘love’

It’s been a long week.  I am in a zone of…well…I don’t know.  You guys have been through this with me…

I have officially made a blogging list of songs.  The songs that help me to write.  Maybe it will help me with my stories…eventually I will get back to them.  I am also going to be updating my Kitty’s WoW page as well.  Stay tuned for that.

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So, ever have one of those drives home, that you wish that you could just throw your iPod or MP3 player out the window, or go home and flush it?  Well if it wasn’t such a dear item that costs a fortune, I probably would have done that today…

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Howdy ya’ll!

So, I had this crazy dream Friday night.  As you all know, I have someone in my life that I love.  He is amazing!  He just doesn’t realize how amazing he really is.  Sometimes, I sit back and review all my feelings, and I (and this sounds bad) try to find a reason not to love him.  You may ask…why?  Well, I sure as hell don’t know.  Maybe I am just concerned about my subconscious and what it’s trying to tell me.

So, this dream…

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So, this has been a crazy week. I am tired, but not sleepy. I am stressed, but nothing I can’t handle or deal with, as I normally do. I am frustrated, but hey what’s new? You guys and gals, that read these, have seen the many sides of me, and the many moods. I have gone from angry to happy to sad to forgotten. I range through all the emotions. Lately, I am a little confused at how I feel. The normal feelings are there, but they are intermixed with this other feeling, I can’t quite identify. It’s a little bit happy and optomistic, and yet estranged and lacking in exuberance. Could it be acceptance? Could it be full blown ‘whatever’ syndrome? I haven’t been in a really sad place in a while. I have been up here *raises hand up to eye level* and it seems to be sticking. many of my friends would look at me, and ask…are you on drugs??

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Evening all!

Well, sitting here at work, and figured I would just pass the time…

So, I finished reading a book the other day, it’s called The Shack. It’s an incredible book, and really opened up my eyes, and enlightened me. It was pointed out to me by a friend, and my aunt gave me a copy, so I figured this was a way for Him to tell me I needed to read it. And WOW, it was amazing. I won’t go into details, but if you have ever had a time when you thought that God had abandoned you, this book will help you through that. So, if you get the oppurtunity, give it a try, it really is an awesome book .

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Or…. “I blog therefore I am” LOL…  So I got this shirt for Christmas or a birthday, I don’t remember..LOL

I truly love this shirt!  It causes people to stop and look, and be like…WTH?  So, I figured I would talk about blogging for a change…in my blog….hmmm…

So, I blog, because I can share with you my feelings and thoughts, emotions, dreams, longings and my heart

I love writing, and if I couldn’t write, I might possibly go insane!  I am a creative being and love to share my creativity with the world!!  I really wish I had more people reading my blogs and telling me how uber crazy I am….

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Evening ya’ll

Just sitting here, listening to Sugarland “What I’d Give”, and thinking about… Mmmm

I am sooo in a strange place today.  I feel so…I don’t know…

My mind has been on him lately…alot…I think that’s why I ain’t sleeping…cuz my mind is wandering back… I think about it all, and I just have to sigh… Love makes us do some things that sometimes, we just look back on, and say…Wow…can I do that again..

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So, I love the band Sugarland! Jennifer Nettles is awesome, and has such a fantastic voice. Most of their songs bring to mind someone in my life this one is one of those…It reminds me of him…sometimes….:) Especially so over the past couple of weeks…

Always end up right where we start
Cause I got time on my hands and hope in my heart
We both understand we weren’t meant to be apart

April showers bring May flowers
I have seen rain before
But if Sunday morning lets that sun in
What are we waiting for
Cause love leaves an open door

If I had one wish I’d wish for two
One for me, baby, and one for you
And it would find you right where you are
With time on your hands and hope in your heart
We both understand we were written in the stars

April showers bring May flowers
I have seen rain before
But if Sunday morning lets that sun in
What are we waiting for
Cause love leaves an open door

It’s worth all the cost
Till I find what I lost in your eyes
And you realize

April showers bring May flowers
I have seen rain before
But if Sunday morning lets that sun in
What are we waiting for
Cause love leaves an open
Wishing and hoping
Love leaves an open

Well, it’s been an interesting week this week so far…..

I have had my mental capacities and my emotional capacities stretched…and well I went off…

Yep…I did, and I feel a little better for it…kinda…it is still a little irritating when I think about it…but oh well, what can ya do…

So, I sit here, and I wonder will this week get better, or am I in for one of those shocking moments that will piss me off?  I hate waiting for stuff to happen, when you know that it’s supposed to, and it doesn’t…that is quite irritating…but I will just continue to hold my breath, and wait.

Cryptic much?  Yep, I am tonight

On another note…I have been feeling kinda ballsy lately, and scared to death that I might actually overstep my boundaries.  This could be bad…this could also be good.  But you know me, I won’t say anything about anything, if I feel like it will hurt me in the end…so…ballsy or not, I will avoid the subjects that I really wanna talk about, because…it was pointed out to me…it ‘embarrasses’ me.  It’s not embarrassment, it’s the fear of rejection and hearing the things I don’t want to hear…If I broach the subject, then I have to deal with whatever is said, and I can’t handle the negativity that may come from it….So..I avoid it..as much as possible….

Yeah…that doesn’t sound nice at all…I really shouldn’t avoid anything…that just causes bad things to happen in the end…I should have learned from this…from previous avoidances…one day I will learn three things…

1. Don’t argue with him…LOL

2. Don’t avoid the stuff you know you will have to face one day…

3. Love is what it is…and can’t be changed…no matter how hard you try…

So, that being said….

I think that I will eventually broach the subject with him, and see if he can talk to me about it, without changing the subject, and me get through it without stammering and stuttering..so that I can actually put it all out there, and learn for better or worse…what I need to know…

I know deep inside what will be said…but I just can’t bring myself to accept it…til I hear it…I think that is why I avoid it.  Maybe, I am wrong…I don’t think so though…There are so many things that work against me, with this…Time, Distance, and well ….his heart…

Oh well, I guess I should probably just go to bed…so that I don’t start crying thinking about all the things I want to hear and never will….

So, I put it out here…for all to see…and hopefully I will learn from it as well…when I look back on it all…

Hugs and Kisses,

Kitty

This is a soulful bluesy song by Sugarland….makes you wanna just….mmmm

What I’d give to bring you flowers.
What I’d give to get you alone.
What I’d give to bring a smile across your face.
What I’d give to take you home.
What I’d give to make you coffee.
Find out how you like your eggs.
Wrapped around you in the mornin’.
A tangled lace of arms and legs.

What I’d give to let you love me.
Find out everything that brings you joy.
Wake up to your face above me.
I’d be that girl and you could be that boy.
Find out why that feelin’ is…
Oh, what I’d give. What I’d give.

What I’d give to take you dancin’.
What I’d give to make you mine.
If you got questions, I got answers.
And my answer’s “yes” to you every time.
What I’d give for just one minute.
What I’d give to count all the ways
If your heart was dark with nothing in it.
I’d give you mine and take your place.

What I’d give to let you love me.
Find out everything that brings you joy.
Wake up to your face above me.
I’d be that girl and you could be that boy.
Find out why that feelin’ is…
Oh, what I’d give. What I’d give.