I love this song by Lady Antebellum

Seems like I was walking in the wrong direction
I barely recognize my own reflection, no
Scared of love but scared of life alone

Seems I’ve been playing on the safe side baby
Building walls around my heart to save me, oh
But it’s time for me to let it go

Yeah, I’m ready to feel now
No longer am I afraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I’m ready to love again

Just when we think that love will never find you
You runaway but still it’s right behind you, oh
It’s just something that you can’t control

Yeah, I’m ready to feel now
No longer am I afraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I’m ready to love again

So come and find me
I’ll be waiting up for you
I’ll be holding out for you tonight

Yeah, I’m ready to feel now
No longer am I afraid of the fall down

It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I’m ready, I’m ready to love again

Ever have something come along and just smack you in the face. Not literally, but figuratively. Seems like the last 24 hours has done this to me.

Everyone knows I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago. Everyone (or at least most of you) know I have been divorced for over a year, but we were separated for 2 years before that. So, I have been alone for over three years now. Alone meaning, no boyfriends. When I stepped into this last relationship, I wasn’t sure that I was ready to be in one. I was kinda “glamored” if that is the word I want to use. He knew what to say, how to say it, and I stepped right on in, and loved every minute of it, until I had the realization that, I was dating a ghost. I knew he was there, and others knew he was there. But then those other people around me.. never saw him. I couldn’t hold him. I couldn’t touch him. We weren’t there physically for each other. So, I broke up with him. I decided then, that a long distance thing was not something I was up for.

Well, within the last 24hours, I have had two people tell me something that really knocked me for a loop.

1. I can’t find another you. You have this thing that I can’t find in anyone else, and I can’t get past you.

2. How do you know your not my Ms. Right, when you gave up on me.

How is it I can have this effect and it be on two totally different people, and it still hit me like a damn ton of bricks. I am just a woman, and I am one woman who knows what she wants. I just can’t seem to grasp it.

What “thing” do I possess to make a man say those things? What is so special about me? I am far from beautiful. I am far from being perfect. I have many flaws. I am a needy attention whore. What about that makes me special?

So, after thinking about all of this, I realized that, what I am missing in my life, is that “relationship”. I want someone to tell me how wonderful I am, to smile at me in the morning and kiss me good night. To send me cute little messages all day on my facebook and myspace, and text me sweet nothings. I want to be wanted, and not from 800 miles away. I want someone I can see. Touch. Feel. Love. I may not get to see them every single day, but more than once a year would be great.

I think that this “smack in the face” knocked a bolt loose or something. I honestly don’t know. I know that if I were to stop looking, then fate would bring Mr. Right to me. I just think that if I stop looking, then I will miss him. So, there you have it peeps. I am in a place of turmoil, and it’s all because.. I gave up, and I am not replaceable.

I guess one day, Mr. Right will come to me, and sweep me off my feet. The question is, will I know it, and if so, will I be ready?

Till next time!

<3 Kitty

WOOT!!!

I finally made it home! There are still some things being worked out, but I am home! Thank you to Dragonsys for making sure I made it home! Without him, I would still be trying to find places to blog

So, first things first. The gallery isn’t up yet, it’s still being dealt with. Secondly, I will be trying to finish up a couple of stories soon Thirdly.. I can come in, sit down, and relax at home… YAY!!!!

Ya’ll come in.. make yourselves at home. I am always glad to have you here at the house!!

<3 Kitty

So, the question came up and was asked this weekend, and I felt obliged to respond accordingly.

What are you looking for in a guy?  What do you want out of a relationship?

This is complicated.

I could answer both simply and efficiently, but that would cause more questions, I am sure.  So, here is my answer, albeit, informal as it may be.

What am I looking for in a guy?  There are key factors to what I want in a guy.  The first and foremost, is that he be honest, faithful, caring, kind and communicate with me.  He needs to understand that I have children and they come first.  The rest are little perks and qualities that I would like a guy to have.  I love to laugh, so a sense of humor is a plus.  I like surprises, so the occasional surprise is a bonus   I want a guy to be at least my height or taller   I have never really been one to base anything off of physical appearance, I always try to read the book, before judging the cover.  I want a guy to really want to read this book, before trying to base things off the cover.

So, I am looking for what all girls look for in a guy.  Pretty plan and simple

Relationship?  This is where I am a bit more picky O.o

Relationships are hard, no matter what situation you are in or where you are in the relationship.  From the first moment you step into a relationship to the second you leave it, it is all about the two of you being one.  Or, that is my belief anyway.  I think that communication in a relationship is one of the most important things there is about a relationship.  When I step into a relationship, I put 100% into it.  I want someone to be the same.  I like attention, this is no secret, but I don’t want to be smothered.  I am a touchy feely kinda person as well, I love holding hands when I am with the other half of the relationship, I love kissing and hugging and being held.  So, what do I really want from a relationship?  I want a man who is honest to me, won’t lie to me, won’t cheat on me, wants to be with me, and who is just as focused on the relationship as I am.  My philosophy is – When you are in a relationship, the you and I become a We, and we need to communicate in order to be happy.

So, I guess in a nutshell, this is what I am looking for..

Happy Reading,

<3 Kitty

Morning everyone.. It’s almost 2am.  Been a long, crazy week.  My mom went to the doc on Thursday, and they want to treat her for stomach problems, even though she has gall stones.  After treating her for 2 weeks, if the issue is still there, then they will schedule her for gall bladder surgery.  My aunt went in this morning for surgery and they took 60% of her lung.  She is in the hospital tonight.  Going to see her tomorrow.

Other than that, just trying to figure out all the other stuff I have in my head.  I am ready to have my website back.. and I am ready to try to find that thing that I am missing in my life.. I just can’t find the right missing piece of the puzzle..

It’s tough.. knowing that there are puzzle pieces out there.. that could fit, but can’t fit.  Either they are not here, or they are just not willing to try.. I think that I have begun to look at everything a bit differently.  Since I broke up with my boyfriend, I discovered that I am not willing to just settle.  I don’t want to rush in.  I seem to do that a lot, and it is usually against my better judgement.  My gut feeling will tell me “no”, and yet my heart is like ” aww hell what can it hurt”.  Well, I am trying to train my heart otherwise.  It’s tough, but I am working on it..

I think on that note.. and the fact that my eyelids are drooping, it’s time for me to head off to bed.  I hope everyone has a blessed day.

<3 Kitty

As some of you may know, my website has been down   You can find information about it here, but it looks like it’s on its way to coming back from the dead!!  YAY!  I am soo excited to be able to go home, and have my gallery, and my stories, and my WoW updates!  Don’t get me wrong, I have enjoyed my little home away from home   I think I may incorporate some of the little silly things on this site into my regular home   Sometimes a facelift is good.

I really hope that you guys and gals continue to check out the site.  The link is www.kittyteaser.org   Enjoy, and put me in your faves

<3 Kitty

I do not have the power to change your mind or your will.  I don’t have the ability to make the world revolve around you.  I don’t have the power to give you everything you want.  I am not a God.  I never claimed to be, and I never will.  I don’t want that kind of power over people.

I can’t make someone change their mind, or their actions.  I can’t force someone to bend to my will.  I can’t force someone to do anything.  I am not a God.

I am a person on this planet that is living and breathing.  I am here to raise my children, take care of my family and try to make sure they are happy.  I am not a God.

Sometimes the pain is so great, that we reach through it to the other side and grasp what is there.  Sometimes we grasp at straws thinking they will save us, and sometimes we grab a lifesaver.  Sometimes, we look to through the pain, and see that just handling it and moving on is the best thing to do.  Whatever you do, whether grasping or looking, remember that only you can change you.  You can’t change anyone else.  At least I am unable to change anyone else… I am not a God.

As I leave this blog today, I want you to just keep in mind.. We are but people, and that you cannot change, reform or uncreate anything that someone will not allow you to.  It is a fact of life.

I hope that you all realize only you can change you, and don’t expect anyone else to try to do it for you.

<3 Kitty

I had a great weekend!

I went out Saturday night with a great friend from work.. and now.. my hips hurt!  Yes, this sounds bad.. but it’s just from all the dancing I did!  I had a great time.. so a few things I want to erase from my memories.  I really did have a good time   Looking forward to doing it again

Sunday I met up with a friend and we hung out for a while, and had a great time!  Although I did discover the Popeye’s over by my house is just a bit ghetto and doesn’t give plasticware with their meals >.< .

So, I had a fantastic time.. didn’t meet any guys that were worthy of my awesomeness, but meh.. It will happen when it’s ready to happen

Later yall!!

<3 Kitty

Step 1 – Get outta the house more.

Step 2 – Work on flirting skills.

Step 3 – Don’t get all enamored over the first guy to smile at me O.o

Hey ya’ll!  Well, as you can see, I am preparing myself and breaking it down to get back to dating basics.. LOL

I really need to get a life!  For reals   I am stepping up my game.  Flirting is the easiest way to start, and well, since I am a natural flirt, I need to umm behave myself with some people, and play it up with other people.  I think I confused myself, but I know what I mean hahahah.  It’s all about body language they say, well my body likes to talk, but I can’t get the right people to listen.  So, other than flirting, I am lost.  Dating is hard, and well, trying to get a guy to be interested in you is even harder   I think that just getting out of the house will be a good step.  So, I am headed out with friends tomorrow night.  We are going to a country bar.. yes I am a redneck.. just roll with it.

My problem, is deciding the best thing to wear.  I want to show the boys, I am cute but not a slut.  Not that I have slutwear.. but still.  So, I know what jeans I am wearing, and of course my boots.  My issue is a shirt.  I need more cleavage!!!  So, spaghetti tank is a must, but what over shirt.  Nothing long sleeves, I would die of heat exhaustion.  Short sleeves, yes.. but what???  I hate trying to figure stuff like this out!

So, makeup is already known.. Hair??  Well, that’s another issue.  I will wear it down.. but straight?  Or Curly?  Hmmm…

Okay, so I am sure you peeps didn’t come here to listen to me dress myself.. or maybe you did?  Perv!!  Just kidding!  LOL

So, now to step into the other aspects of this whole going out and trying to find some victim.. err.. guy to take my advances and run with them.. I mean to.. well.. nevermind… I think what I mean is I need to find a dance partner.. yeah that’s it!  A dance partner o.O.

Okay, so if ya’ll have any suggestions. let me know.. I am always open to new dating techniques, flirting strategies and what not

See ya on the flip side.. and look for a blog on Sunday or Monday detailing my night out O.o

<3 ya,

Kitty

So, I broke up with my boyfriend.

I have learned a lot about myself over the past month and a half.

I am needy

I am an attention whore

I need a relationship with someone I can hold and touch and kiss.

I have learned that I am not a long distance relationship kinda girl.  So, I will sit and wait.. Mr. Right will work his way into my life eventually, and hopefully, I will know it when it happens.

Hope you all have a great day!

<3 Kitty