Originally posted January 27, 2008 on DeviantArt

I froze for an instant

I got caught up and for a moment, there was a small moment of bliss

I let go and watched it walk away

I gave up

It was soft and warm and then cold and hard

Why can’t it be

Why can’t I let it

Why is it always there

It lingers in the back of my mind and rests on my lips

If only I could make it real

If only I could just let it be

I froze at the feeling

I froze at the touch

I froze at the look

I froze…and it was good for just a split second

I froze and gave it up

Cold and ruthless in the eyes

Soft and warm in the mouth

Heavenly in the hands

Strength in the mind

Hard in the heart

I was frozen for a split second……

It was almost heavenly

Originally posted August 5, 2008 on DeviantArt

Do you miss me?

Do you really?

Are you keeping my heart safe?

Are you making it a treasure?

Do you miss me?

Do you really?

Are you just a figment of my imagination?

Are you just there?

Do you know how my I care?

Do you know how much I miss you?

Do you know?

Do you really?

We all wander til we find what we want in life, then as we wander we wonder and as we wonder we learn, as we learn we live and as we live we love. It is one of the greatest feeling to know that we are loved in return. Do we know of every heart out there that skips a beat for us? No. Should we know? No. Do we continue to wait, to see if skipped beat is pointed at us? Yes. Until something tells us otherwise…we wander until we love.

Hugs and Kisses,

Originally posted March 24th, 2008 on DeviantArt

I set my heart out for you
I set it in plain view
The air around me feels so still
I know its there
It gets hard to breathe
I stumble for the feelings that I know are there
I reach and reach

It hides from me, this feeling
It runs away from the beating of my heart
I can chase it until there is no more air to breathe
And I will fail
I feel you there
I feel your presence
Will you stop and look to see my heart

My heart is in plain view
It is for you to find
It is as bright as the sun
It is as soft as the morning dew
It is as broken as shattered glass
It is waiting like the moon
It hurts like a searing pain

My heart is in plain view
Why can it not be seen
Why can it not be heard
Is it forfeit
Is it wrong
Is it beyond holding
Is it beyond your love

I sit here with my heart in my hands
Waiting for you to take it and make it whole again

Originally Posted April 22, 2008 on DeviantArt

Life lives

Life loves

Life leads

Life loathes

Life brings

Life takes

Life hears

Life feels

Life stops

Life breaks

Life goes on

Life is deaf

Life is real

Life is unreal

Life is hurtful

Life is painful

Life is joyous

Life is sinful

Life takes us where we need to go, to who we need to be, and who we need to be with. Once it starts, it is hard to stop. Life will take us down the paths certain and uncertain. Life will take us to where we need to be……whether anyone else believes that is the way it should be.

Life is hard

Originally Posted May 27th, 2008 on DeviantArt

Again from the mind of Kittyteaser ~~~~

I sit stunned
I sit shocked
I sit knowing, yet unknowing

I have no words to express what I feel.
It would be so hard to say anyway.
I have no words to tell you that…

You mean the world to me
You are a bright light in my darkness
You are a missing piece to my puzzle
You bring out sides of me, I didn’t even see
You have shown me life
You have shown me how to love again
You have shown me what it really is to be
You have given me hope
Faith
Love
Happiness

I have no words that I can say to you
I have words that I can write to you
I have words that would scare you away
Bring you closer
Miss me
Hate me
Love me

You don’t want to hear the words
see the words
feel the words
read the words

I have no words for you then
I only have the words I want to say, hear, feel, and live….

No words…..

Originally posted July 19th, 2008 on DeviantArt

Again from the mind of Kittyteaser ~~~~

I have a story…

It’s not pretty
It’s not ugly
It’s not boring
It’s not interesting

But it’s mine.

It has a boy in it
It has a girl in it
They don’t know what it is that draws them together
They don’t know what it is that pulls them apart

But it’s there.

It has love in it
It has hurt in it
It has pain in it
It has anger in it

But it’s mine.

It has a beginning
It has an end
It has a middle
But there is something that it’s missing….

But it’s there.

I have a story….Ask me and I will share it with you….

Hugs and Kisses,

I don’t remember being dead
I can’t remember hell
I don’t remember heaven as well
But a familiar smell

If you’re feeling trust you know who I am
To be real is a must that’s me if I can
When I’m feeling small, it’s a bigger land
Where I try to remember as a child man

Canned disease we buy
In the breeze we let others die
Then with ease we go and buy
The things we like

If you’re feeling trust you know who I am
To be real is a must that’s me if I can
When I’m feeling small, it’s a better land
So I try to remember as a child man
Yes, I try to remember as a child man

Know your brain is better then everything
We’ve got going wrong
And so with seven percent we fake
A world in secular survival
I don’t like that at all
Be internal

If you’re feeling trust you know who I am
To be real is a must that’s me if I can
When II’m feeling small, it’s a bigger land
When I try to remember as a child man

It’s amazing isn’t it…how just a few simple things can turn your head around….

From anything to a word to a look to a touch to a thought.  Anything can influence or deceive your thoughts.  I have been in a strange place over the past few months…and I think that after this past few weeks…I have opened my eyes.  I am talking to new people…trying to bring new people into my life.  I have a new friend in Minnesota..who makes me laugh   I am enjoying the moments that present themselves to me   From a silly conversation with a friend..to the possibilities of making a new friend.

I have been told I am beautiful   I am!  I am beautiful inside…I have a soul that screams to be touched!  I have a heart that is full of kindness and tenderness and devotion…  I am beautiful!  I am a book just waiting to be read and rewritten…..  I am beautiful…on the inside..and the outside! ;)  Or at least that is what I am told

So, here I am…I think about the events that occurred this last weekend.  I watched one of my best friends marry her best friend and soulmate.  I watched them dance together…and with their friends…It was truly amazing to see how in love they were with each other.  It made me think…Being in love should be like that…All the time..and why sit there and spend time loving someone…and not feel it like that…sooo…What’s a girl to do?  Well, turn over a new leaf…and look at things through a different pair of glasses…throw out the rose colored glasses, and throw on the glasses of the person I should be…Free…untamed…and uncut O.o

So…here I go…venturing into the unknown all over again…and realizing…this could be a whole helluva lot of fun…

Until next time!!

<3 ya!!

My eyes deceive me

The pain is to much

My heart betrays me

The pain is to much

My mind says to walk away

The pain is to much

What am I to do?

The pain is to much

I cannot hear the truth for the lies

I cannot see the beauty for the ugliness

I cannot feel the love for the pain

I cannot be the one the pain is to much

I avert my eyes so as not to see the look of passion

I close my ear so as not to hear the love

I shut my mind so I cannot see the thoughts…

The pain is to much

The pain is to much

The pain

is

to

much….

I shall wander aimlessly through the hurt and find my saviour……

Morning everyone!!

I had a crazy weekend…

So…Saturday I went into Duck mode and helped my aunt move in the pouring down rain…I don’t think I was dry from 9 am to 6pm Saturday….  I had fun..got to see family I haven’t seen in years..It was great just playing catch up.

Then…Saturday night…I went out with 4 of the hottest…funnest girls ever!!  One of the girls from the car clubs I am in had her bachelorette party Saturday night…the theme was…”Hooker Retirement Party” all in fun   We walked into Cowboys and rocked the place…  I wore a glowing penis pin on my shirt right in between the girls   Drank Rum and cokes…had a some shots mixed in…Danced on the “bar”…had a helluva lot of fun….we closed the bar…LMAO

Anyways..had a great weekend…Got the wedding next weekend…which mean more dancing

Have a great week ya’ll!!