Archive for the ‘Life and Love’ Category

Evening all!

I hijacked Jay’s iPad again

I’m laying here in bed after a super long day, watching Say Yes.

Speaking of saying yes… I recently got engaged!

On October 22, 2011 my love asked me to marry him . He was super sweet and cute about it.

He took me to dinner at my favorite restaurant, Joe’s Crabshack. We ordered appetizers, and Jay being quick on his feet, reminded me to wash my hands before eating finger foods. I was like, ummm… Okay? So while I was in the restroom, unbeknownst to me, he asked the waiter for a favor. I came back to the table, and our appetizers were there. We enjoyed them, and sat there talking, as I looked around the restaurant. While I was being oblivious, he had moved himself into a better position in his chair.

Our waiter came over to the table and asked if everything was okay. Jay says, “Yeah, thanks dude.”. The waiter picks up the plates and then drops a fork on the floor. Jay knelt down to grab it, the waiter was like, “I can get that.”. I turn around and he has a ring in his hand. And asked me to marry him. I was stunned. I reached in and kissed him. Then said yes.

It was so sweet.

The date is set. October 27,2012. Now I am planning, and trying to figure it all out. I want this to be as special for my family as it will be for him and I.

My blog may morph over the next several months into a wedding planning update blog

I hope y’all stick around and enjoy the wild ride

Hugs and Kisses,
Kitty

Hello all!

I know, been a while. I am trying a post from the boyfriend’s iPad

I wanna talk about love tonight.

I actually love talking about love in all it’s facets. Seems to be a big topic here on the site.

I am 38 years old, and I have lived a wonderful life, hopefully with many more years to go. In this life I have had many experiences with love and falling in and out of love.

Love when it’s real is a fantastical, magical, incredible feeling! Sometimes just the idea of love is an amazing thing as well. I can say that I have experienced the multiple facets of love and I am learning even more about love and all the things it can truly feel like and what it can bring into your life.

When I was just a girl, I had the biggest crush on the boy across the street, his name was Tim and we were the best of friends. We would go crawdad fishing, and play cars in the driveway. He was my best friend, and I wanted him in my life forever, or so it seemed at the time. That was my first puppy love experience. I cried when he moved away. I thought my world was going to cave in all around me.

I swore never to love again! Yeah, well we know how that goes, right?

I made it through middle school without falling for anyone. I didn’t have another boyfriend until high school. I met a guy in my Home Ec class. He was super sweet and we went to the Military Ball together. We dated off and on for a few months. I wouldn’t call it love, but I liked him alot. We still keep in touch, and we talk occasionally.

Then I met my first love, it was love at first sight. I really wanted to date him, and he played cat and mouse with me for over two years. We shared our first kiss in the back of a skating rink. That’s when I knew it was love. We didn’t start dating until our junior year. Our senior year we got engaged. I saw myself with him…. Forever. It was love. We got married and had two beautiful kids. Sixteen years later.. We got divorced. We realized we were better as friends than as husband and wife.

About six years ago, I met someone, and I thought he was the greatest thing next to chocolate. He was funny and we actually had things in common. He helped me find myself again. I got back into my love of cars, and remembered who I used to be. He seemed like a nice guy. As I got closer to him as a friend, I got closer to him with my heart, and thought I was in love. I look back at it now, and yeah, I love him, but I love him in that… Your my best friend, and I dont want to lose that, kinda way. It took him to show that to me. I was in love with the situation that I was in. I would never change that for anything in the world! He is truly one of the people in my life that I can talk to about anything. Him and my best friend Nicole.

As I sit here tonight, I am going to tell you that I have found a different kind of love. I am in love with a man, who loves me back in a way, I haven’t been loved before. I don’t mean physically, get that dirty mind cleaned up. I mean emotionally. We have known each other for six years, and he sat in the background of my life. H was always there for me in little ways and we became friends. I always told myself, that I would never date him, I had personal reasons.

Y’all have seen my blogs about me and my honey, but I am going to try and break it down.

He brings something to me emotionally that I have never felt before. Like I said, I have been in love before, but this is different. I have never felt this way. He completes me, not to take a line from a movie, but he does. It’s like the missing piece to my puzzle. I didn’t know it until over the last few months, how much I loved him. He told me he loved me on our one year anniversary of being together, and it brought tears to my eyes. Every time he tells me he loves me first, it makes me feel so happy and I almost cry every time. Its a completely different type of love. Sitting here writing about it makes me want to tear up.

So, I know that people are going to read this, and I don’t want anyone to think that I didn’t love them, I just loved them differently, and didn’t know what the difference was until now.

We all love someone, and someone loves us. Sometimes the love is brotherly, sometimes friendly, and sometimes you fall in love and it’s magical. No matter what type of love it is, cherish it, hold onto it, and share it, you never know when you might lose it.

Here’s to happy people who are in love with the ones they love, and here’s to those that don’t have love yet, just wait, and when it happens you will know what it all means!

Hello all,

This past week has been a bit of a coaster ride for me.  I have been up and I have been down.

I broke down this last weekend and just cried.  I was feeling just all balled up.. couldn’t break free, and it seems like every time I turn around it’s something else.  School is coming up for the kids.. it’s a stretch anytime for me to make ends meet, and when school comes around, it’s harder.  The kids are growing and that means new school clothes, and well, it’s tight around here.  There is the fact that it seems like if I get a step ahead.. something happens.. Jay’s car is acting up, and we are dealing with that extra expense as well.  Again, it’s that balled up sensation.  I try to make sure everyone stays happy, it’s just really hard sometimes to keep everyone happy.

I cried yesterday, harder than I have in a while.  I have been trying for a promotion at work, and my boss told me yesterday I didn’t get it.  She told me that I knew the job, but that there were other people more qualified.  I don’t have the most perfect stats, I don’t have perfect attendance, so I don’t get the job.  Maybe next time.  I felt like my world caved in, and I feel kinda stupid about it, now.  I cried over a job.  People tell me it’s because I was passionate about the job, and that I truly wanted it, that’s why I cried.  Yes, I was passionate about the job, and I still am.  All I can do, is buckle down and just try harder.

On the other side of these emotions are the happy side.  I really do have an amazing family and boyfriend.  My Mom is amazing, she is always there for me, and yes I may not be the picture perfect daughter, but she still loves me no matter what!  My kids… well, they are kids.. and my mom was right.. it will come back to me threefold.. thanks Mom

Jay and I are doing well   I love this man, and I mean like totally 100% in love with him.  He spoils me rotten when he can, and he cares.  We have our moments, every couple does, but I don’t think I will trade him in, any time soon.

I hope that y’all have enjoyed the read

<3 Kitty

Sometimes I feel like I am setting myself up for heartbreak.

Even though I have this wonderful guy in my life, I still feel like Heartbreak is right around the corner.  Maybe it stems from my past, I don’t know.  I just wish I could get past this feeling.  I want to be able to accept the fact that he is here with me and that nothing is going to happen.. and yet there is that nudge.

We have talked a lot and are still discovering little things.  We had a discussion about kids a few weeks ago, and yes he wants a child of his own, but doesn’t see it happening.  I think this is one of the things that holds us both back from opening up and being more ‘in love’ if that is what you want to call it.  He has things that are holding him back, which makes me automatically doubt us and where we are going.  Hence.. the nudge for heartbreak.  I can’t give him a baby.  Not even close to being physically possible.  It leaves a void in my heart, because if we get to the point to where we are talking about forever, I can’t help him get to the ‘happily ever after’ that he wants.

I tell myself all the time, I don’t want to get married again.  Lately though, I see myself with him and wonder if maybe I spoke to soon?  I am happy with him when we are together and miss him like crazy when we are apart, but I wonder if we could live together and be that happy married couple?  So many thoughts about this relationship and where it may or may not go.  So many barriers and so many questions.  I think I am just driving myself insane with this.

My whole views of relationships and Love have changed over the last 18 years.  It used to be just date and be happy and if love came along.. then Surprise!  Nowadays.. it’s date.. date someone else.. date someone else… get tired of dating, swear off men, then get surprised when someone you didn’t know you could like that way surprises you, and then you worry because you may hurt your friendship, and then sit and wonder is this is your ‘forever moment’.  Wow, that’s a mouthful.

I think I am just worrying about it to much.  I wanna be in love… I wanna be someone’s ‘forever’.  Is he my forever.. it feels like it sometimes.. then again.. there is that nudge of heartbreak.

I am off for the day..

<3 Kitty

I have to say that I have the most amazing boyfriend on the planet.  He went through some stuff with me today, and he saw a side of me, not many have seen.  He was patient and supportive through it all!  He is truly amazing!

As some of you may know, my Mom had surgery today.  Well, my honey was there to support me through it all.  It was one helluva stressful day.  Mom came through it okay, she was quite discombobulated and confused at first, but resting well.  I am hoping that tomorrow will be a much less stressful day.  I think once she gets some rest, she will be okay.

Well, I just wanted to check in and get all that out of my head.  Gonna try and get some rest.. maybe…

<3 Kitty

Evening all!  I am hanging out here at the house.. with all kinds of stuff about to happen..

On Wednesday this next week, my Mom will be having surgery, hernia repair and gallbladder removal.  I worry.. who wouldn’t?  I just keep praying the doctors have steady hands.

I have some other things going on.  They are good things.  I don’t know exactly where to put them in my mind, because I can’t figure it out.  Lost yet?

Well, let’s see if I can start at the beginning?

I have an easy heart.  It is a well known fact.  I have been in love with someone once in my life.  I have been in love with a situation once in my life.  The two feel a lot alike.  Being in love with a situation mimics being in love with someone, because there is usually someone that is making that situation feel good and right.

I was in love with my ex.  I was in love with a situation not to long ago, I didn’t realize it for what is was, until recently.  I am in a similar place now, and I can’t decide if it’s the person.. or the situation.  It could very well be the person, he is truly amazing, and makes me smile and laugh, and I think about him all the time.  Been there though, and I don’t want to think that I am in love with him… and down the line realize it’s the situation.  I wanna be able to tell the difference!  I don’t know where to go to try and get myself straightened out to determine if it’s him or if it’s the situations we are in.

So, here we are.  We will be together for four months on the 29th, and I am talking about love.  I told him a week or so ago, what was going on.  He kinda feels the same way.  So, I guess let’s just walk through this and see where my heart takes me.

Well, off to bed for me.  Ya’ll have a good week, and I am gonna try and get in here a bit more!

<3 Kitty

Wow.. how things change in your mind..

I look back at a picture, and I think.. That was so great, can I go back there?

I have a picture of the Golden Gate Bridge on my desktop.  I took it when I was in San Francisco in May.  I remember standing at the rail of the boat, as we toured the bay, his arms around me holding us both steady on the boat, while I took pictures.  If only I had realized then what I do now, that weekend may have been different.  I wanna go back, and try things a bit differently.  I wanna go back and be a couple, not two people in an awkward place, because one of them didn’t know what she wanted.

It’s weird to think about it now, and realize all the missed opportunities.  I sigh when I think about it, all the thought he put into everything, and me denying what I was feeling.  Now, I examine my feelings and the way our relationship has progressed, and I am amazed

I think that it helps that my kids are on board with all this.. LOL  They like him, and that’s a good thing.  I find myself examining all my feelings, and how deep they may run.  I get a little skittish thinking about the possibilities.. it’s one of those things you second guess at every glance.  My heart has been through Hell in the past, and I am not quite ready to sacrifice it again, but when he looks into my eyes.. I wonder….

Well, this felt good just talking about it.. you know how therapy can help.. well we all know this is my therapy.

Hope yall keep reading

<3 Kitty

Here I sit, thinking about the past few months, and how I went from being okay in my life, to being happy in my life.  I am about to reach 5 years of being with the same company, I got a plaque and a beautiful ring.  I love my job and the people I work with.

I look back over the last 5 years and look at all the changes I have gone through, from being married to separated in the matter of a few months.  Then making some wonderful new friends and missing some dear friends, to watching my best friend of 10 years move away and come back, and realizing, we have grown up.  Then moving another best friend away, and watching him move on with his life, while mine stood still around me.

I learned I am responsible for my own actions, and not the actions of others.  I can take care of me and my kids.  I am a good person.  I have wonderful friends, no matter where they are in their life or I am in mine.

Over the past 2 years, I went through a divorce, and thought I was going to lose a good friend, but we persevered and stayed friends.  I have seen relationships grow and blossom, and relationships fall apart.  I sat there through it all, thinking that I would never be as happy as I once was.

Then, I stepped outside my shell, and tried, and failed.  It didn’t hurt, that’s the scary thing.

In May, I went with one of my best friends up here at work on a business trip to San Francisco, and that is where everything changed.  I fought it all weekend, that feeling of comfort and happiness, and turned it away.

I came back home and realized.. it could have been so much better, if I had just dropped my walls and opened my heart.  I realize now, that God placed me in that place and time for a reason.  To open my eyes and show me what he was putting in front of me.

I have a wonderful boyfriend now.  He makes me smile, and laugh, and miss him when he isn’t around.  He has shown me that I can be happy and live again.  He is something else

I am in a place in my life, I haven’t been in a long time.

I am loving my crazy wonderful life

<3 Kitty

Good Morning!

Been a great week or so, with a set  back, but working my way through it with the help of my awesome boyfriend

So, we will be together a month on the 29th and it has been an awesome experience!  He and some friends surprised me for my birthday and threw a wonderful birthday party   I really do have amazing friends and family!

Yesterday, I went out to the truck and well had no reverse, this following an odd issue the day before    This has lead to my wonderful huney adding me to his insurance, so that I can drive his car back and forth to work.  He was supposed to get his secondary vehicle running, but that isn’t happening … So, I get to play taxi

Other than the little truck snafu.. well big truck snafu, all is well in my world!  I haven’t been this happy in a while and it feels so great!

Well, I gotta get back to looking productive here.. ya’ll have a great week!

<3 Kitty

Howdy all!

Been a couple of weeks since I have been here.  Been busy being a girlfriend

It’s been an enlightening experience, from being his best friend to his girlfriend, you end up see the sides of him, you have never seen before.  It’s been soo fun, and seeing him smile when he sees me, the little touches when he walks by me.  Makes me blush just to think about it.

We have plans on Sunday.  I don’t know what they are, he won’t tell me!  It’s my birthday Sunday and he is being all cute and secretive   I can’t wait though!

I have to say, that this feels like a place I needed to be.  Everyone else seems to think so too!  My friends up at work, my boss, my director.. our friends in the car club.. LOL it’s been so much fun watching everyone go.. Ohhh!

Okay.. so I guess that is really all I have for now

Ya’ll have a great week, and I will see ya Sunday evening to talk about my birthday and what My Honey did for me

<3 Kitty