Archive for the ‘Blog Central’ Category

I wanna go and sit on a beach somewhere.  I wanna sit there and just enjoy the air, water, sun, sand, and well life.  I wanna enjoy it with someone.  I wanna go and sit and have nothing but the two of us.

This is how I picture it….

It’s a warm spring evening, the sun is setting on the horizon.  In the distance a storm is moving in, we are standing on the back porch, watching the waves crash against the beach.  You have your arms around me, nuzzling my neck and telling me how beautiful I am.  As I stand there and soak up all the atmosphere around me, the scent of the ocean, the breeze against my skin, the warmth of the evening sun on my face as it dips down.  The feel of your arms holding me.  That is what I need and want right now.

That being said.. Will I get this?  Not anytime soon

I am at a point to where, I know what I want, and I could have it.  It’s just a heartbeat away, but it’s the fact of it being the way I want it, and that it be right.  I don’t want to just settle.. I want to know that deep down, that is what I am meant for.

This brings me to.. this.

I have a guy in my life, I have known him for years.  He as of late, has shown some strange “tendencies” towards me.  I am not sure what to make of it.  He is a great guy, and my kids get along with him, but I have some conflicts of interest with him.. and I don’t want to ruin a friendship that is as great as what we have.  My problem is… how do you tell someone, “Hey!  Your this fantastic person, but because I have my own issues with you, I would never be able to date you!”  And not crush him????

Then, there is another person in my life, who I like alot, and who likes me alot back.  He is super sweet, and super funny, and cute.  He has already informed me, he would move to Texas, all I have to do is say so.  Which I find absolutely amazing, and a bit flattering.. only thing is.. I wouldn’t ask or tell anyone to do that for me, I am really not worth all the trouble   And I don’t believe in making decisions like that on the fly anyways.

So, now that I have to many frying pans in the fire, because I gotta fit Odessa in here someplace.. Yep.. Odessa, he is close, but I don’t know.  I feel all confuzzled.  I have never been this “available” and had so many people show their interests in me.

I mean, really.  I am just a single mom.  I have nothing special or spectacular about me.  I am just a girl.

So, now that I have talked about this, and it’s been all over the place.. I really kinda know what I want, and yet I can’t have it.  I won’t ruin a friendship for love.  I won’t ask someone to move for me, and well, I think younger isn’t always better, especially after talking with someone my age for a while.  Sometimes the things you want, are out of your grasp, and if they are meant to be, then God will bring them to you.

Happy Reading Ya’ll!

<3 Kitty

Heard this song on the way into work today.. It’s quite amusing, and fun!

Yea I got a friend from New York City, He’s never heard of Conway Twitty, Don’t know nothing bout grits and greens, never been south of Queens, but he flew down here on a business trip, I took him honky-tonking and that was it, he took to it like a pig to mud, cow to cud

We all got a hillbilly bone down deep inside no matter where you from you just can’t hide it, when the band starts banging and the fiddle saws, you can’t help but hollerin’ YEE-HAW! When you see them pretty lil’ country queens man you gotta admit that it’s in them jeans, ain’t nothing wrong just gettin on your hillbilly bone-ba-bone bone

Naw you ain’t got to be born out in the sticks with a f-150 and a 30-06. Or have a bubba in the family tree to get on down with me, yea bubba all you need is an open mind, if it fires you up you got a little shine, when it feels so right that it can’t be wrong, come on come on come on you ain’t alone you ain’t alone.

We all got a hillbilly bone down deep inside no matter where you from you just can’t hide it, when the band starts banging and the fiddle saws, you can’t help but hollerin’ YEE-HAW! When you see them pretty lil’ country queens man you gotta admit that it’s in them jeans, ain’t nothing wrong just getting on your Hillbilly bone-ba-bone-ba-bone bone

We all got a hillbilly bone down deep inside no matter where you from you just can’t hide it, when the band starts banging and the fiddle saws, you can’t help but hollerin’ YEE-HAW! When you see them pretty lil’ country queens man you gotta admit that it’s in them jeans, ain’t nothing wrong just getting on your Hillbilly bone-ba-bone-ba-bone bone
Hillbilly bone-ba-bone-ba-bone bone
Hillbilly bone-ba-bone-ba-bone bone
Hillbilly bone-ba-bone-ba-bone bone

Ever have something come along and just smack you in the face. Not literally, but figuratively. Seems like the last 24 hours has done this to me.

Everyone knows I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago. Everyone (or at least most of you) know I have been divorced for over a year, but we were separated for 2 years before that. So, I have been alone for over three years now. Alone meaning, no boyfriends. When I stepped into this last relationship, I wasn’t sure that I was ready to be in one. I was kinda “glamored” if that is the word I want to use. He knew what to say, how to say it, and I stepped right on in, and loved every minute of it, until I had the realization that, I was dating a ghost. I knew he was there, and others knew he was there. But then those other people around me.. never saw him. I couldn’t hold him. I couldn’t touch him. We weren’t there physically for each other. So, I broke up with him. I decided then, that a long distance thing was not something I was up for.

Well, within the last 24hours, I have had two people tell me something that really knocked me for a loop.

1. I can’t find another you. You have this thing that I can’t find in anyone else, and I can’t get past you.

2. How do you know your not my Ms. Right, when you gave up on me.

How is it I can have this effect and it be on two totally different people, and it still hit me like a damn ton of bricks. I am just a woman, and I am one woman who knows what she wants. I just can’t seem to grasp it.

What “thing” do I possess to make a man say those things? What is so special about me? I am far from beautiful. I am far from being perfect. I have many flaws. I am a needy attention whore. What about that makes me special?

So, after thinking about all of this, I realized that, what I am missing in my life, is that “relationship”. I want someone to tell me how wonderful I am, to smile at me in the morning and kiss me good night. To send me cute little messages all day on my facebook and myspace, and text me sweet nothings. I want to be wanted, and not from 800 miles away. I want someone I can see. Touch. Feel. Love. I may not get to see them every single day, but more than once a year would be great.

I think that this “smack in the face” knocked a bolt loose or something. I honestly don’t know. I know that if I were to stop looking, then fate would bring Mr. Right to me. I just think that if I stop looking, then I will miss him. So, there you have it peeps. I am in a place of turmoil, and it’s all because.. I gave up, and I am not replaceable.

I guess one day, Mr. Right will come to me, and sweep me off my feet. The question is, will I know it, and if so, will I be ready?

Till next time!

<3 Kitty

Morning all!

It’s a beautiful day here in the ramblings.  It’s been a very strange but happy two weeks.  I have a great boyfriend, who makes me smile and laugh, and I have great friends that I can talk to about anything

Just thought I would do a quick stop by, and tell you all Have a great and happy day!

<3 ya and happy reading!

Whenever I have a title like that, I always prepare myself, because it’s usually random nonsense that comes out of my fingers as they fly across the keyboard.

Don’t you just hate it when something is said, out of context of what is meant, yet you throw it into a new perspective and try to figure things out?

Example:

Logical Love

Let’s break this down.

Logical means according to or agreeing with the principals of logic; reasoning in accordance with the principle’s of logic, as a person or the mind; reasonable, to be expected

Love means a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend; a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart; sexual passion or desire.

Okay, so where am I going with this?  That is what I am trying to find out.

What would you consider ‘logical love’?  The love of two people that are in accordance with each other’s passion and desires?  The love of two people that just seem to fit together emotionally, physically and spiritually?  I could continue to ask these questions, there are so many ways to look at it.  I have been told that ‘logical love’ does not exist.  I have been told that ‘logical love’ is just that, Love that logically works out.  What the hell does that mean?  As you can see, I have been thinking about this subject, and I have no answers.

See, this is what happens when I come across something or I hear something that catches my fancy, I tend to over think it, and over analyze it, and try to figure out why it would be said in the first place.  This, my friends, is one of those times.  Does logical love exist?

I will continue to research this issue, and see what I can come up with.

Howdy readers!

It has definitely been a Monday!  I had a short weekend with very little sleep.  I think from Friday morning through this morning I got maybe 12 hours of sleep total.  I am just really stressed about the stuff going on with my dad, and just trying to make sure that I get to see him before anything gets any worse.

I guess it could be worse…right?

I could be homeless, jobless, and on the street!  Thank the Lord that I am not though!  I could have no friends or family that care for me.  Well, that is definitely not the case.  I am blessed.  I know that.  I should take that knowledge and thrive off of it.  I think the negative stuff in my life is over powering my positive.  I will find my balance, it may just take a bit.

Well, I just wanted to stop by and give ya’ll a quick glimpse into my personal chaos..LOL

Have a great week!

Happy New Year’s Eve Everyone!

Been an interesting year to say the least.  Hoping that this next year is a good one, full of new people and fun.  I have a few milestones coming up this next year.  I will have been wiht my current employer for 5 years in August and My son turns 16 in March (insert huge amount of dread here).

I have learned over the past year, that you can love someone, and still be their best friend, and watch them grow into a relationship that isn’t with you.  And that while doing so, your learn to love them in a different way than you ever thought possible.

I have learned that you can work through anything, even with some of the people in your life that make you want to strangle them half the time.

I have learned that boys will be boys, and even if they are of  your own flesh and blood they will still be boys.

I have learned that girls are hard to deal with growing up and that you really want to make them happy, but nothing can or will.  ( I think this is true as they get older too )

I have learned that cats and fish can coexist.

I have learned that babies are truly a miracle of God, and that when they are loved enough they can make it through anything.

I have learned that when true love strikes someone, it hits hard.  I have had several friends get married this last year, and it was amazing to see the emotion in their eyes as they said, “I do”.

I guess on top of it all….I have learned to learn again, love in a different light, appreciate the big and the small, and to be a bit more patient.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year, and that 2010 is an awesome year for everyone!

<3

Is it all about life, love and the pursuit of happiness?

I thought at one point in time it was all about love and living for all the wonderful things in this world, and that that journey would bring us through to happiness.  Nowadays, though, I think it’s more the fact of just trying to survive and getting ourselves through.  I miss being in love and living for the next moment.  I miss the happiness that came from just being with someone and being the one person they wanted to be with.  I miss the way things used to be, and how they should be now.

Lately, all around me, everyone is falling in love.  Either for the first time, or all over again.  I have in the past year, known four people who have gotten engaged and married.  Two others who have gotten engaged, and probably about 10 others that have fallen into a ‘perfect’ relationship.  I, on the other hand, can’t seem to get a guy to want me for me for longer than a week.

I love watching all the love and joy that others have for their loves.  It gives me hope that one day, I might be there again.  As I sit and think, and realize how close I am to being ‘middle aged’, I wonder…  Will I get to experience this wonderful feeling called love again?  Will I get to live again?  When will my pursuit of happiness come again?

Then I realize, I have two wonderful kids, and they are my life, love and my pursuit of happiness.  When I look into their blue eyes, and see the wonder and joy, that the little things bring them, and all the trials and tribulations that I go through with them, sometimes on a daily basis.  It makes everything okay.

So, yeah, I don’t have a man in my life that I can hold onto in the middle of the night, I do have a cat that sleeps on my other pillow.  I don’t have a man to kiss me good night and tell me he loves me.  I do have a daughter who gives the best hugs and tells me good night every night.  I don’t have a man around the house to fix all the odd and ends, to burp and fart and make a general man of himself, oh wait, I have a son for that!

So, what have I discovered over the past several days, as I sit here in a stupor and think that my life hasn’t been complete, because I am not in love with the perfect man?

Well, a cat will love you, no matter what and you don’t have to boost their egos.  There is nothing better than a daughters love and a son’s bodily functions.

It is all about Life, Love and the pursuit of happiness…just in our own ways.

Go out there and love the ones you love.

Live like you wanna live.

Pursue the things that make you happy!

Now that I have your attention!

Hi there

Just figured I stop by, and check in with my readers.  been a long few months…lot’s of ups and downs.  Christmas is around the corner, and that means, well me being broke.  I think that the kids will get most of what they want, as long as I can keep my whits about me.

So, haven’t done much over the past few months, just trying to keep myself entertained whily life happens.  The kids are passing in all their classes, that is more than any mom could ask for.  Their Dad is hopefully going to be home more and get to see them more, I know my daughter will love that lots.

I need to throw an update in my Kitty’s Wow page as well, been lots happening in my other life as well.

Well, guess that is all for now.  Hope to see you guys on the flips side…and watch out for cowtails and chicken feathers..

Later!!

Howdy guys and gals!!

Been an okay week.  I am just sitting around here, waiting for the weekend to come,  so I can go to my Second Cousin’s baby shower, and it puts me one week closer to Halloween!!  Yeeee   I love this time of year!  The weather starts to get cooler, the trees try to change color and be all autumn-like, but usually they just fail at it…LOL  the only thing I don’t really like about it, is I can’t really wear my flip flops anymore   it’s a bit to cool for my ittie bittie tootsie toes.  So, I throw on my tennis shoes and hoof it around in them.  It does give me a chance to pull out my hoodies though

Other than that, my son is passing all his classes so far, YAY!!  My daughter is trying out for choir today, hope she gets it!  I am just really kinda trying to just take it easy.  I am putting men on the back burner of my life.  I realized that I have other things that are more important than having that kind of companion in my life.  I have kids and my family I need to focus on more. 

With that being said, I am off to fill everyone in on my WoW adventures!!

Ya’ll have a great day!!