Lovin my crazy wonderful life :)

August 5th, 2010 |

Here I sit, thinking about the past few months, and how I went from being okay in my life, to being happy in my life. I am about to reach 5 years of being with the same company, I got a plaque and a beautiful ring. I love my job and the people I work with.

I look back over the last 5 years and look at all the changes I have gone through, from being married to separated in the matter of a few months. Then making some wonderful new friends and missing some dear friends, to watching my best friend of 10 years move away and come back, and realizing, we have grown up. Then moving another best friend away, and watching him move on with his life, while mine stood still around me.

I learned I am responsible for my own actions, and not the actions of others. I can take care of me and my kids. I am a good person. I have wonderful friends, no matter where they are in their life or I am in mine.

Over the past 2 years, I went through a divorce, and thought I was going to lose a good friend, but we persevered and stayed friends. I have seen relationships grow and blossom, and relationships fall apart. I sat there through it all, thinking that I would never be as happy as I once was.

Then, I stepped outside my shell, and tried, and failed. It didn’t hurt, that’s the scary thing.

In May, I went with one of my best friends up here at work on a business trip to San Francisco, and that is where everything changed. I fought it all weekend, that feeling of comfort and happiness, and turned it away.

I came back home and realized.. it could have been so much better, if I had just dropped my walls and opened my heart. I realize now, that God placed me in that place and time for a reason. To open my eyes and show me what he was putting in front of me.

I have a wonderful boyfriend now. He makes me smile, and laugh, and miss him when he isn’t around. He has shown me that I can be happy and live again. He is something else