Archive for August, 2010

Wow.. how things change in your mind..

I look back at a picture, and I think.. That was so great, can I go back there?

I have a picture of the Golden Gate Bridge on my desktop.  I took it when I was in San Francisco in May.  I remember standing at the rail of the boat, as we toured the bay, his arms around me holding us both steady on the boat, while I took pictures.  If only I had realized then what I do now, that weekend may have been different.  I wanna go back, and try things a bit differently.  I wanna go back and be a couple, not two people in an awkward place, because one of them didn’t know what she wanted.

It’s weird to think about it now, and realize all the missed opportunities.  I sigh when I think about it, all the thought he put into everything, and me denying what I was feeling.  Now, I examine my feelings and the way our relationship has progressed, and I am amazed

I think that it helps that my kids are on board with all this.. LOL  They like him, and that’s a good thing.  I find myself examining all my feelings, and how deep they may run.  I get a little skittish thinking about the possibilities.. it’s one of those things you second guess at every glance.  My heart has been through Hell in the past, and I am not quite ready to sacrifice it again, but when he looks into my eyes.. I wonder….

Well, this felt good just talking about it.. you know how therapy can help.. well we all know this is my therapy.

Hope yall keep reading

<3 Kitty

Love Like Crazy

By: Lee Brice

I totally love this song right now!  It’s awesome!

They called them crazy when they started out
Said, “Seventeen’s too young to know what loves about”
They’ve been together fifty-eight years now
That’s crazy

He brought home sixty-seven bucks a week
Bought a little 2 bedroom house on Maple Street
Where she blessed him with six more mouths to feed
Now that’s crazy

Just ask him how he did it
He’ll say, “Pull up a seat
It’ll only take a minute
To tell you everything”

Be a best friend, tell the truth
And overuse “I love you”
Go to work, do your best
Don’t outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin’ knees get lazy
And love like crazy

They called him crazy when he quit his job
Said them home computers, boy, they’ll never take off
Well, he sold his one man shop to Microsoft
And they paid like crazy

Just ask him how he made it
He’ll tell you faith and sweat
And the heart of a faithful woman
Who never let him forget

Be a best friend, tell the truth
And overuse “I love you”
Go to work, do your best
Don’t outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin’ knees get lazy
And love like crazy

Always treat your woman like a lady
Never get to old to call her baby
Never let your prayin’ knees get lazy
And love like crazy

They called him crazy when they started out
They’ve been together fifty-eight years now
Ain’t that crazy?

Here I sit, thinking about the past few months, and how I went from being okay in my life, to being happy in my life.  I am about to reach 5 years of being with the same company, I got a plaque and a beautiful ring.  I love my job and the people I work with.

I look back over the last 5 years and look at all the changes I have gone through, from being married to separated in the matter of a few months.  Then making some wonderful new friends and missing some dear friends, to watching my best friend of 10 years move away and come back, and realizing, we have grown up.  Then moving another best friend away, and watching him move on with his life, while mine stood still around me.

I learned I am responsible for my own actions, and not the actions of others.  I can take care of me and my kids.  I am a good person.  I have wonderful friends, no matter where they are in their life or I am in mine.

Over the past 2 years, I went through a divorce, and thought I was going to lose a good friend, but we persevered and stayed friends.  I have seen relationships grow and blossom, and relationships fall apart.  I sat there through it all, thinking that I would never be as happy as I once was.

Then, I stepped outside my shell, and tried, and failed.  It didn’t hurt, that’s the scary thing.

In May, I went with one of my best friends up here at work on a business trip to San Francisco, and that is where everything changed.  I fought it all weekend, that feeling of comfort and happiness, and turned it away.

I came back home and realized.. it could have been so much better, if I had just dropped my walls and opened my heart.  I realize now, that God placed me in that place and time for a reason.  To open my eyes and show me what he was putting in front of me.

I have a wonderful boyfriend now.  He makes me smile, and laugh, and miss him when he isn’t around.  He has shown me that I can be happy and live again.  He is something else

I am in a place in my life, I haven’t been in a long time.

I am loving my crazy wonderful life

<3 Kitty