I wanna go and sit on a beach somewhere.  I wanna sit there and just enjoy the air, water, sun, sand, and well life.  I wanna enjoy it with someone.  I wanna go and sit and have nothing but the two of us.

This is how I picture it….

It’s a warm spring evening, the sun is setting on the horizon.  In the distance a storm is moving in, we are standing on the back porch, watching the waves crash against the beach.  You have your arms around me, nuzzling my neck and telling me how beautiful I am.  As I stand there and soak up all the atmosphere around me, the scent of the ocean, the breeze against my skin, the warmth of the evening sun on my face as it dips down.  The feel of your arms holding me.  That is what I need and want right now.

That being said.. Will I get this?  Not anytime soon

I am at a point to where, I know what I want, and I could have it.  It’s just a heartbeat away, but it’s the fact of it being the way I want it, and that it be right.  I don’t want to just settle.. I want to know that deep down, that is what I am meant for.

This brings me to.. this.

I have a guy in my life, I have known him for years.  He as of late, has shown some strange “tendencies” towards me.  I am not sure what to make of it.  He is a great guy, and my kids get along with him, but I have some conflicts of interest with him.. and I don’t want to ruin a friendship that is as great as what we have.  My problem is… how do you tell someone, “Hey!  Your this fantastic person, but because I have my own issues with you, I would never be able to date you!”  And not crush him????

Then, there is another person in my life, who I like alot, and who likes me alot back.  He is super sweet, and super funny, and cute.  He has already informed me, he would move to Texas, all I have to do is say so.  Which I find absolutely amazing, and a bit flattering.. only thing is.. I wouldn’t ask or tell anyone to do that for me, I am really not worth all the trouble   And I don’t believe in making decisions like that on the fly anyways.

So, now that I have to many frying pans in the fire, because I gotta fit Odessa in here someplace.. Yep.. Odessa, he is close, but I don’t know.  I feel all confuzzled.  I have never been this “available” and had so many people show their interests in me.

I mean, really.  I am just a single mom.  I have nothing special or spectacular about me.  I am just a girl.

So, now that I have talked about this, and it’s been all over the place.. I really kinda know what I want, and yet I can’t have it.  I won’t ruin a friendship for love.  I won’t ask someone to move for me, and well, I think younger isn’t always better, especially after talking with someone my age for a while.  Sometimes the things you want, are out of your grasp, and if they are meant to be, then God will bring them to you.

Happy Reading Ya’ll!

<3 Kitty