Archive for April, 2010

Step 1 – Get outta the house more.

Step 2 – Work on flirting skills.

Step 3 – Don’t get all enamored over the first guy to smile at me O.o

Hey ya’ll!  Well, as you can see, I am preparing myself and breaking it down to get back to dating basics.. LOL

I really need to get a life!  For reals   I am stepping up my game.  Flirting is the easiest way to start, and well, since I am a natural flirt, I need to umm behave myself with some people, and play it up with other people.  I think I confused myself, but I know what I mean hahahah.  It’s all about body language they say, well my body likes to talk, but I can’t get the right people to listen.  So, other than flirting, I am lost.  Dating is hard, and well, trying to get a guy to be interested in you is even harder   I think that just getting out of the house will be a good step.  So, I am headed out with friends tomorrow night.  We are going to a country bar.. yes I am a redneck.. just roll with it.

My problem, is deciding the best thing to wear.  I want to show the boys, I am cute but not a slut.  Not that I have slutwear.. but still.  So, I know what jeans I am wearing, and of course my boots.  My issue is a shirt.  I need more cleavage!!!  So, spaghetti tank is a must, but what over shirt.  Nothing long sleeves, I would die of heat exhaustion.  Short sleeves, yes.. but what???  I hate trying to figure stuff like this out!

So, makeup is already known.. Hair??  Well, that’s another issue.  I will wear it down.. but straight?  Or Curly?  Hmmm…

Okay, so I am sure you peeps didn’t come here to listen to me dress myself.. or maybe you did?  Perv!!  Just kidding!  LOL

So, now to step into the other aspects of this whole going out and trying to find some victim.. err.. guy to take my advances and run with them.. I mean to.. well.. nevermind… I think what I mean is I need to find a dance partner.. yeah that’s it!  A dance partner o.O.

Okay, so if ya’ll have any suggestions. let me know.. I am always open to new dating techniques, flirting strategies and what not

See ya on the flip side.. and look for a blog on Sunday or Monday detailing my night out O.o

<3 ya,

Kitty

So, I broke up with my boyfriend.

I have learned a lot about myself over the past month and a half.

I am needy

I am an attention whore

I need a relationship with someone I can hold and touch and kiss.

I have learned that I am not a long distance relationship kinda girl.  So, I will sit and wait.. Mr. Right will work his way into my life eventually, and hopefully, I will know it when it happens.

Hope you all have a great day!

<3 Kitty

Evening ya’ll!

Been a long day.  Been a long week, and it’s only Tuesday.  I woke up this morning thinking it was Wednesday.. boy was I disappointed to discover it was Tuesday.  I made it through the day though

Been thinking a lot.  Thinking about my relationship, thinking about my family, and thinking about people in my life.  What’s weird, are the thoughts I am having…  I won’t go into details.. I may have to privately write that out.  I am just kinda confused about some things.. and about what I thought was supposed to happen.  We have this picture or idea in our heads about how things are supposed to happen, and when it doesn’t happen like that.. well, it makes a person wonder if their perceptions were misconstrued and discombobulated.  Again, it would be difficult to go into here, but I think it’s almost time for my head to have a talk with my heart, and for them to come to a unified decision and conclusion without being persuaded otherwise.

I am trying.  Trying hard.  I feel like it’s just not enough.  I have people who accuse me of doing something.. that I didn’t.  I am not a cheater, liar, or thief.  I think cheating is one of the worst things to do to a person, next to murder and abuse.  Cheating breaks down trust and breaks down hope, faith and love.  It only brings heartache, and don’t think that it happens and the other person doesn’t know about it.  Lieing.. it’s stupid to do it.  All lieing does is lead to more lies, which leads to someone getting caught and hurt.  Why would you do it?  Thief?  Never.  The only thing I can ever be accused of stealing is someone’s heart… and that hasn’t happened in a while.  So, where did this come from?  Well, being called a liar is something that irks me, just a bit.  If you ask me a question, and then take the answer out of context, then that isn’t lieing, that is you not using your communication skills.  If you ask a question and don’t get the response you wanted, don’t twist the words and throw them back at me.  For those that think that just because I have a boyfriend that lives out-of-state, that I can still go out with you.. You are wrong!  Again, I don’t cheat.. not in my forte.  It hurts the people who are involved, directly or indirectly.

I really should be going to bed now.  I have to be up in about 6 hours.  Wednesday is here now.  So, we can say we are half way through the work week.  Makes for an interesting day today, I am sure.

So, to wrap this up.  I need to think more about whats going on in here (points to head then heart) and make sure I don’t give anyone a reason to think that I would lie to them, cheat or any other of those bad things.  So, as my eyes begin to droop, I will bid you goodnight!

<3 Kitty

After a great weekend, spending virtual time with my honey.. I may just go insane.

I miss my Bear!  We talked almost all weekend and shared some cutesy texts.. but I miss the dickens outta him.  I really just want him to be here

Other than the missing him every other second of the day.. My week should be good.

I even tried to work out some frustrations by taking the blazer up to wash it.. and felt like it did absolutely no good.  It looks dirtier now than it did before the washing O.o  I took the kids to the grocery store with me, which is a bad idea.. It’s Mom can I have this.. or Mom he did this.. Mom she’s touching me.. Oy!  It makes for an interesting trip to Wal-Mart.

Hoping to get some more writing done sometime this week   I really need to try to keep my mind occupied.. when it’s not occupied, I wonder off to think about my Bear.  This isn’t all bad   Just quite distracting.

Well, yall have a wonderful week.. See ya on the flip side!

<3 Kitty

I looked into the hole that held my past.  “Six feet may not be deep enough to bury the burdens and the hurt and the pain that you caused me.”  I said in a voice barely above a whisper.  The people around me, were to busy crying and holding each other to notice, that I shed no tears, I held no one, and I smiled as the casket was lowered into the earth.

***********************

It was a sunny day in May, the breeze blew my hair around my face as I stood on the shore of the lake with the water lapping over my feet.  The sensation of the sun on my skin, the water on my feet and the breeze causing my hair to blow wildly around my face, made me smile and giggle out loud.  I turned my face up toward the sun, and heard the tell-tale click of the camera.  I looked back over my shoulder to see Charles standing there with his camera to his face.  I flashed a toothy grin at him then turned back to the sun and water.  I soaked up as much of the sun as I could stand, then turned to Charles and walked slowly toward him, each step brought a click from the camera as the shutter opened and closed.

“You are obsessed with that blasted camera, love.”  I said as I strode purposefully toward him.  He took the camera down from his face long enough to smile at me devilishly.

“Only because you are the most beautiful creature I have ever photographed.”  The camera came back to his face, as the shutter continued to open and close.

I stopped about four feet away from him.  Turned my back to him, and smiled over my shoulder as I reached up to untie the blue bikini string around my neck.  The camera slowly dropped.  “I may need some assistance here, Love.”  Was all it took.  The camera was placed back in the bag, and Charles was at my side.  We kissed softly at first, and as the passion built, everything else fell to the ground.

********************

I was born on Valentine’s Day, at 2:14am.  Ironic, isn’t it?  My mom, thinking it was cute, named me Liebe, she pronounced it like “Libby”, but it meant love in German.  I was a bastard child, conceived outside of marriage, by a father who didn’t know I was even around.  My mom was very open, so to speak, and slept around.  She knew who my father was, but chose not to tell me, just said one day when I was older, I would find out.  When I was thirteen, my mom died of a heroin overdose.  I went to go live with grandma and grandpa in Texas.  Growing up for thirteen years on the coast of California, and then moving to Texas was like taking a fish out of water.  I grew up way to fast out in California, my body developed quickly, and I knew that I was quite pretty.  My red hair, never had a hair out-of-place.  My green eyes always shining.  My teeth were perfect, mom at least made sure of that.  She just knew one day I would be the next big thing.  Unfortunately her heroin addiction outweighed my career.

I started school two weeks after my move to Texas, I stayed to myself and tried not to interact with to many people.  The boys all stared at me, and the girls scowled.  This was something that I would get used to as I grew up, it was a regular occurence.  The first few months seemed like a haze of monotony, the same thing day in and day out.  Go to school.  Come home.  Do homework. Eat dinner.  Go to bed.  Nothing ever changed.  The next three years, seemed almost as uneventful.  I made a few friends, none that I would confide in or spend and inordinate amount of time with, just more of annoying acquaintances.

My freshman year in high school, I met SueAnne, she was a lot like me, but from the East Coast.  She grew up in Georgia, Savannah, to be exact.  She was one of those “Georgia Peaches”.  We had a lot in common.  Her dad was a businessman that moved a lot.  Her mom was a prima donna.  SueAnne and I got close very quickly.  We wore the same types and size clothes and shoes, and were always exchanging clothes.  We blew through our freshman year, and into our sophomore year.

SueAnne and I were pretty much inseparable, one of us was always at the other’s house.  We were more like sisters than friends.  We did everything together, we only dated brothers, and we only went out on dates together.  The boys didn’t seem to mind.  As we moved through our high school years and graduated, SueAnne and I thought about where we wanted to go for college.  I had a desire to get back to the West coast, and she wanted to get back to Georgia.  This was the only thing we ever had a problem with.  We decided on our graduation day, that we would travel for a few months, and then decide for the following year what college we wanted to go to.  We were both pretty smart, and had a GPA of 3.8, college choices wouldn’t be an issue.

Our families, thought it would be a good idea for us to go out and see the world.  The week after graduation, we loaded up SueAnne’s Jeep and hit the open road.  Two free spirits looking for life and possibly love.  Little did we know what we were up against, and the road that fate had us pointed to.

(To Be continued)

Interesting thought.  Does your past really come back to haunt you?

They say that you should let your past be just that.. in the past.  Live in the here and now.. Live for your future.  So, does it hurt when you catch a glimpse of someone’s past in a remote way and what you see, makes you wonder?  Should you just leave it at that.. Past?  Everyone has some sort of skeleton in their closet, whether it’s something huge.. or something small.. It’s there.  Some of us have shared these skeletons, or at least little tidbits of these skeletons.  Why then would something that you already are aware of.. make you wonder?

I know I am all over the place and quite cryptic, just trying to work it all out in my head.  Is it the thought that maybe there is something hidden there, and you don’t want to uncover it all, because you are scared of what may be revealed?  It scares me everyday that I am going to uncover something about someone that will change the way I feel and look at them.  I should just let the past be the past, and leave the present anc future to work itself out.

Still I wonder… I look back over my past.. and I don’t have anything to terribly crazy that could come back to haunt me.  Maybe I just worry about the others in my life too much.  Who knows.. I am just rambling on here.. It’s all about nothing and something rolled up and packaged into a ball of worry and love.

One day, I will figure it all out.. the past.. the way it affects the now and the future and if I should dwell on it at all…

Happy Reading…

<3 Kitty

So, I am surrounded by friends and family in my life.  I have a great boyfriend.. but today.. I have this lonely feeling inside.  I don’t know where it’s coming from, but it’s there.  It could be lots of things, I am sure.  I miss my Bear   I would give almost anything to just have him here in my arms right now.

It could be all the illnesses in the family and the severity of some of them.  My aunt has to have lung surgery in the next two weeks sometime.  My mom has to have her gall bladder out, but first they have to figure out what the ‘oddity’ is that is blocking their view of her gallbladder.

It’s been a crazy couple of months, I am really hoping everything turns out for the best for my aunt and they determine it’s a non cancerous mass, and that the ‘oddity’ blocking the view of my moms gallbladder isn’t anything serious.

So,  in a nutshell, I am a worried lonely person.. LOL

Thanks for reading friends

<3 Kitty

Howdy ya’ll

Yay to blog again

So, what has been happening over the past two weeks?  My honey and I are doing fabulous, we have been dating for a little over  a month now

I have been working my hiney off the past couple of weeks as well, OT and late nights.. I am on a flex shift at work, and it has me working some crazy schedules sometimes.  As long as I have my iPod and a good book, I am okay with it

The kids and I went to the zoo, when the site becomes fully functional, I will upload some of the amazing pics I got (I think they are amazing).

Other than that, all is great here in Kitty’s world

Hope you all have a great day, I will catch up again with you soon!!!

<3 Kitty

Howdy ya’ll!

I know the site has been wonky over the past two weeks or so.. This is a temporary fix until we can get it fixed.  The server crashed and the Host company is trying to get it repaired.  Until then you can catch my updates here

Hope to see you all around soon

<3 Kitty

My iPod has beeb invaded by some old school (well old school for me O.o) songs… Monster ballads to say the least..I love monster ballads!  I listed a few that I really like, I could have gone on and on… but figured I wouldn’t bore you

ENJOY!!!!!

Tesla – Love Song

So you think that it’s over,
That your love has fin’lly reached the end.
Any time you call, night or day,
I’ll be right there for you if you need a friend.

It’s gonna take a little time.
Time is sure to mend your broken heart.
Don’t you even worry, pretty darlin’.
I know you’ll find love again. Yeah.

Love is all around you. Yeah
Love is knockin’ outside *YOUR* door.
Waitin’ for you is this love made just for two
Keep an open heart and you’ll find love again, I know.

Love is all around you.
Love is knockin’ outside **YOUR** door.
Waitin’ for you is this love made just for two
Keep an open heart and you’ll find love again, I know.

Love will find a way.
Darlin’, love is gonna find a way,
Find its way back to you.
Love will find a way.
So look around, open your eyes.
Love is gonna find a way.
Love is gonna, love is gonna find a way.
Love will find a way.
Love’s gonna find a way back to you, yeah,
I know. I know. I know. I know.

Warrant – Heaven

Got a picture of your house
And you’re standing by the door
It’s black and white and faded
And it’s looking pretty worn

See the factory that I worked
Silhouetted in the back
The memories are grey
but man they’re really coming back

I don’t need to be the king of the world
As long as I’m the hero of this little girl

Heaven isn’t too far away
Closer to it every day
No matter what your friends might say

How I love the way you move
And the sparkle in your eyes
There’s a color deep inside them
Like a blue suburban sky

When I come home late at night
And you’re in bed asleep
I wrap my arms around you
So I can feel you breathe

I don’t need to be a superman
As long as you will always be my biggest fan

Heaven isn’t too far away
Closer to it every day
No matter what your friends might say
We’ll find a way (Yeah!)

Now the lights are going out
Along the boulevard
The memories come rushing back
And it makes it pretty hard

I’ve got nowhere left to go
And no one really cares
I don’t know what to do
But I’m never giving up on you

(Heaven isn’t too far away)
Closer to it every day
No matter what your friends say
I know we gotta find a way

It’s not too far away.

Yeah!

Skid Row – I Remember You

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
The wind would whisper and I’d think of you
And all the tears you cried, that called my name
And when you needed me I came through

I paint a picture of the days gone by
When love went blind and you would make me see
I’d stare a lifetime into your eyes
So that I knew you were there for me
Time after time you were there for me

Remember yesterday – walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand – I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I’d wanna hear you say – I remember you

We spend the summer with the top rolled down
Wished ever after would be like this
You said I love you babe, without a sound
I said I’d give my life for just one kiss
I’d live for your smile and die for your kiss

Remember yesterday – walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand – I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I’d wanna hear you say – I remember you

We’ve had our share of hard times
But that’s the price we paid
And through it all we kept the promise that we made
I swear you’ll never be lonely

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
Washed away a dream of you
But nothing else could ever take you away
‘Cause you’ll always be my dream come true
Oh my darling, I love you

Remember yesterday – walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand – I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I’d wanna hear you say – I remember you

Remember yesterday – walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand – I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I’d wanna hear you say – I remember you

Winger – Headed for a Heartbreak

Morning came and I was on my way
When you reminded me
I had too soon forgotten
It was you that set me free
Yeah!!! You were here when I came
And you’ll be here when I’m gone
So don’t be waiting for love
Cause I’ll be waitin’ to ramble on

Chorus:
Headed for a heartbreak
Headed for a heartbreak

Darling, don’t wait up for me
Tonight I won’t be home
You’ve become a stranger
I just got to be alone
Don’t need nobody on my side
To dull the blade I’m on
Don’t be waitin’ for love
Cause I’ll be waitin’ to ramble on

Chorus:
Headed for a heartbreak
Headed for a heartbreak
Headed for a heartbreak

It’s no mistake
Don’t you think I can feel the pain
I walk away
To live again

Solo

Chorus:
Headed for a heartbreak
Headed for a heartbreak
Don’t make me hurt you
Headed for a heartbreak
Cause I love you
Headed for a heartbreak

Don’t you think I feel the pain…..

Kiss – Forever

I gotta tell you what I’m feelin’ inside, I could lie to myself, but it’s true
There’s no denying when I look in your eyes, girl I’m out of my head over you
I lived so long believin’ all love is blind
But everything about you is tellin’ me this time

It’s forever, this time I know and there’s no doubt in my mind
Forever, until my life is thru, girl I’ll be lovin’ you forever

I hear the echo of a promise I made
When you’re strong you can stand on your own
But those words grow distant as I look at your face
No, I don’t wanna go it alone
I never thought I’d lay my heart on the line
But everything about you is tellin’ me this time

It’s forever, this time I know and there’s no doubt in my mind
Forever, until my life is thru, girl I’ll be lovin’ you forever yeah!

I see my future when I look in your eyes
It took your love to make my heart come alive
Cos I lived my life believin’ all love is blind
But everything about you is tellin’ me this time

It’s forever, this time I know and there’s no doubt in my mind
Forever, until my life is thru, girl I’ll be lovin’ you forever

It’s forever, this time I know and there’s no doubt in my mind
Forever, until my life is thru, girl I’ll be lovin’ you forever