Just imagine it……

(insert Wayne’s World transition sound here)

You are a chicken.  You have it sooo good, you hang out on the farm, get fed all the grain you can eat.  You love it there, and you and all your little hen and chicken friends sit around and peck at the ground, and just cluck about all the gossip in the farm.  How Bessie the cow is not producing milk and the farmer is talking about selling her.  To Fred the dog, and how his sniffer is going bad and can’t track the foxes like he used to.

All the girls can talk about, is the day they get to fo off to the spa and get the ‘royal’ treatment.  They never come back from their spa trip, but no worries, they probably moved on to the bigger and better farm the farmer is always talking about.  New girls always come in to replace the older girls, and of course the new girls are always quick to talk to the rooster in the hen pen next door.  And you have to tell them…so sad but true, but Rudy is not for us…he is for the hens who lay the eggs..and boy how you really wouldn’t want to sit on a nest all day, when you can stand out in the barnyard and peck at the ground without a care in the world.

One day…the farmer and his buddies all come out to the barnyard, and start to gather up the girls.  He always speaks so nicely to you.  Gently saying…”Come on Girls, into the crates we are going for a little trip.”

Well since you are sooo well fed on all this wonderful grain, you are a little slower than the egg layers and the new girls.  You get shooed into the crate with no fuss.   I mena it’s Spa Day…right?

You and the other girls chat it up as you are loaded up into a huge truck.  There are some new girls here.  They all seem pretty friendly, they are excited about the trip to the spa as well.

You travel along watching the sun rise high in the sky, and then fall back down beyond the horizon. As the sun rises the next day, your small little chicken tummy grumbles with hunger, and the girls around you begin to get restless.  At last you pull into a parking lot, where there are other chickens being unloaded.  They seem rather excited as well.

They unload you into a huge enclosed area and let you run in, and throw some grain down for you to eat.  All of the girls begin to peck at the ground.  You hear the sound of heavy machinery, and wonder just what kind of spa this is…

The girls start getting picked out of the group.  You stand as proud as you can, hoping to get picked for this treatment.  One of the men come over and pick you up off the ground.  They tie your little legs together, and then promptly take you through a door, and hang you upside down from a hook!  Oh my, you think…you begin to get nervous…and then you hear it…the screams…oh the horror of those screams!!    You flap your wings, and begin to scream as well, as one by one the other screams die off…you come around the corner and see what lies beyond…..

Later that afternoon, your body is packaged and frozen for shipment to the nearest grocery store.

Oh the life of a chicken and the things that can come from the relaxed and pampered chicken from the farm.

You know what…fried chicken sounds good right about now….

Hope you enjoyed it…it was fun writing…LOL