How cute!

You say it like you mean it. And in ways you do.

Then you look deep inside, and realize how jealous you really are. All around you…they are holding hands, kissing, and holding each other. You sit back and watch it all, and you can taste it, feel it, and want it. And then again, you don’t. You know…you have been there, and it was fun, and great…and then….

I am a romantic at heart. I love all the cutesy little names couples call each other. I love all the cutesy stuff that couples do. I love all the fun little things that couples do for each other. I think that I was ruined to it…I want it…and yet I don’t. With all the cutesy stuff, comes the heartache…am I right? No…not all of it ends in heartache. Some of it is total bliss, and so not heartache. Look at all the couples out there celebrating 50, 60, 70 years of marriage. I would love to be there….I think unfortunately though, that will never happen. I am past the point of being able to find someone that will love me like I want to be loved. Yeah, that sounds selfish…It is in a way, I know. But when you put forth all your love, to have it turned aside, you would feel that way to. I have love to give, and I want to give it, but…

So…I have been thinking…

Can you hear the wheels squeaking? I am waiting…what am I waiting on? I know…and I know that it may be worth waiting for…but is it worth waiting forever for? Losing out on the chance to experience all the other things that are placed before you? I haven’t quite figured that part out. I want nothing more than this one thing……yet…it eludes me…it is evasive in many ways. I think that I really need to observe it all…Maybe it’s time I realized, it’s not worth waiting forever for, and maybe it will realize all of this to late…and be the thing to have the regrets…..

I am off to bed…to think…and cry…and realize….what conclusion will I come to? Only time will tell….

Hugs and Kisses,

Kitty