Warning! I don’t know where this may go.

So, here I am. Sitting here at work, I have been doing a lot of reflecting and looking back, and wondering and even wandering through my thoughts. I find myself in the same place each time. I find myself looking at the same things over and over.

It’s strange how you tell yourself you are going to change the way you think about someone, and yet….can’t. I tell myself everyday, I am not going to think about him, and I fall asleep thinking about him, and then I wake up thinking about him. I have found that because of this, it dampens my want to go out with other guys. I know it sounds stupid, but I just don’t know what to do about it. I feel like a fish out of water lately.

I want some change in my life, I know that. I don’t know what, but I need something, I guess a divorce wasn’t change enough. Nothing really changed there though. We have been seperated for almost three years when the divorce was final on the 17th. So, the only change is it’s actually legit. I keep telling myself I want to cut my hair, that is just a cop out. I really need something different, something inspiring in my life. Where do I turn, who do I turn to? I need some change. I apparenlty can’t do it myself…LMAO…

I know this has been kinda random and out there a little. I haven’t really been blogging much or writing. I seem to take flack for it sometimes and I don’t know why people read these, and then gripe. I do it, you know I do it, and yet you read it anyways, and get all pissy about what you read. Oh well, this is my therapy, and I won’t stop so, you are just going to have to deal with what you read.

Okay, well, I think I am going to stop there. I have a bad habit of getting up on my high horse and ranting, when I shouldn’t.

Hugs and Kisses,

Kitty