Wow…

It seems like it’s been in the making for years….It’s here tomorrow. I have some anticipation, some sadness, some serious happiness, and some regret.

Strange mixture of emotions…I know. Let’s see….

Anticipation — Well that is just from the fact…that it’s been 3 years. We separated in November of 05. Here it is October 08 and we are finally getting the divorce finalized.

Sadness and Regret — they kinda go hand in hand. I spent 18 of my 35 years with one man. Yeah the last 3 have been separated from him, but we were still together on paper. What do you do after 18 years? Guys look at you like your an alien because you have kids and haven’t been on a real date in 18 years…LOL I regret not being able to be woman enough to stop the interactions that he had….it could have made all the difference in the world.

Happiness — I am just ready for it to be done. I have gone through a lot the last 9 years or so. From dealing with someone in another country that was the apple of his eye…to just trying to cope with my feelings, my emotions and his mental and emotional betrayal. I tell myself that I won’t walk into a situation like that again. But how do you really know?

We walked into each others lives in the cafeteria of our High School, bonded at the back of a skating rink, and became one in an apartment in front of our family in January of 93. We grew to 3 in March of 94 and to 4 in April of 99. Now tomorrow I take that 4 and bring it down to 3. It’s going to be odd. It is for the best. We went our separate ways years ago, and never fully came back to us. We are better off friends than a couple. We talk easier now. We laugh easier now. We are more open with each other now. He is was my friend in high school before we went on this adventure, and he is my friend now at the end of it.

So, tomorrow, I move into a new chapter. I begin a life of me and my kids.

Thank you for everything.

Hugs and Kisses,

Kitty