Hey all…It’s Saturday…what did I do Friday? Nodadamnthing. I watched two episodes of Trueblood which is a good show. Watched Grease…Love that movie. Sat around…took some pics..which are in the gallery. Other than that…not much.

I did do some thinking. Scary huh? I thought about what I am doing in my life. I have no clue anymore. I feel all discombobulated. I have so much that I want out of my life, and all I am doing is spinning my wheels. I want some change…but the change I want, may not be what is best for me. It’s like life is playing roulette with me…and I can’t decide which color to bet on. Betting on the safe color is the best choice…right? What if I want to take a leap…What if I want to just throw it all out there, and take the risk of betting it all. I could end up in a really bad place. I could end up in a place I don’t want to be…in the end. Would it be worth it all? Would it be worth betting everything I have to put it all on the line and lose? I don’t know. I have never done that before. I have always played it safe. Always….that is why I wonder where this recklessness is coming from. Is it from the broken heart, the broken mind, the injured soul? Or is it just the fact that I would go to the ends of the earth…just to be there? I want so much, and yet not enough…

I have needs and wants and desires…I have a heart that is not fully here. I have emotions that are very unchecked at the moment. The slightest thing will set me off, and send me into an emotional spiral…why? Because I am not all here…I am here, and there. I am where he isn’t and he is where I want to be. Sucks to be a woman…we are emotional creatures. I would give anything to be an uncaring bitch. Unfortunately, I am not.

Well…this was truly one of my midnight ramblings. I wish that I could convey my messages more clearly, but I can’t. I have to protect the innocent, and keep it all where it should be.

Ya’ll have a good morning. See ya on the flip side!!

Hugs and Kisses,

Kitty