Archive for June, 2008

Oh My Good Gravy!!

It is Thursday…and I am tired, and kinda just blah. I miss my baby boy. I talked to him this morning though, they are headed for Colorado and then New Jersey. He also bought himself a cheap little digital camera to take pics with. He is soo excited, I am happy for him!! He is going to get to see all over the US. I still miss him though. Mom and Ezri are leaving sometime next week, so I get two weeks of alone time.

I did get to see ”Stomp the Yard” last night. That was a really good movie, I enjoyed it alot. Some time next week I get ”Step Up 2”. Can’t wait to see it. I am also possibly going to see the new ”Indiana Jones” movie Saturday. So that should be fun. Well I am about to get outta here!! Ya’ll have a good night!!

Hugs and Kisses,

Kitty

Well, it is Tuesday, and it has been kinda a long day. I at least get to sleep in my own bed tonight. That will help immensely.

I finished one of my books last night, and started the 3rd in the series today…well I ran off and left it up at work, don’t know what I am going to do to get to sleep. I guess I will have to rely on my own imagination. That is scary in itself!! My mind amazes me sometimes with what I come up with.

So, yeah I am kinda in randomocity mood…beware!! I think I am ready for a trip!! I get to go to Atlanta in July, and I am kinda looking forward to it. I have never been to Georgia!! I was hoping to get to see Florida along the way, but that is more than likely a no go..LOL…Oh well…road trip next summer! I wanna go to the beach so bad right now. I haven’t been in two years…and I miss it. I love the sight of the waves…the smell of the air…the feel of the water against my skin. I really need that. Maybe I can save up and take the kids at the end of the summer…I will have to see.

Well, I think I am done for the evening!! I am getting tired.

Hugs and Kisses,

Kitty

Love and Hate

The two strongest words you can ever use. Think about it…the extreme differences between them.

Love. We all have it, we all want it, we all have varying degrees of it. It starts when we are just born, there is that automatic connection with our parents. That undying unwavering love. As we grow we fall in love with everything, our first toy, our first blankie, our first pet, our first friend. Then it grows with us as we grow. We fall in love with our first boyfriend…you know…Puppy love, and when our heart gets broken, we vow never to fall in love again. Then there is the ‘one’ love, and we think that nothing will ever change the way we feel about that person. Nothing will ever break that bond. Then we enter another realm….Love is very strong and we think that it is unbreakable and that we are what we are because of love.

Hate. Strong word, and I don’t use it lighly. It can encompass all sorts of things. We can hate food, we can hate objects, we can even hate people. Hate though, is such a strong emotion, and to truly hate someone is scary. I have been there, and I am still there in ways. I once had a friend, that well did something that really hurt me. He messed my best friend up. Mentally and emotionally. I bring love in here. See I love my best friend, we have been friends for 13 years and have shared things with each other, that some people just wouldn’t understand. Because of the love that I have for her, I hate him. He put her in a bad place!! He wrecked her!! I have to say that it is partially my fault. I introduced them, and was like, I think he would be good for you. I was soo wrong!!

I regret that day with every being of my soul!! She would have been so much happier if he hadn’t come into her life, and I blame myself for her pain, and hurt. I hate him…He is the only person in this world I can say that about. I hate him…more than I can love anyone else.

So, you ask me why amd I writing about love and hate? Well I was thinking on the way home, about all of the conflicting emotions and mental traps I have thrown at myself lately, and well it all revolves around the different levels of love and hate in my life. I love so many people in so many different ways, that it makes up for the one person I hate. So…I have to say that there is a balance, a balance of love and hate, and it takes a lot of love in the world to override the hate. If we could all learn to love a little more, then I think there would be less hate in the world.

Well, I guess that is it for this evening. Remember to love the ones you can, while you can, and then love them even more when you can’t!!

Hugs and Kisses,

Kitty

Tomorrow….

We are all told to live in today. Live for today. What if I want to live for tomorrow? What if I want to make tomorrow last forever?

We all know that won’t happen, it is always a wish. I guess if most of you haven’t discovered yet, I am all about sharing my feeling with you guys and gals through my words. You will witness everything from the happiest moments of my life to the most destructive moments in my life. I probably should have made that a Note on the Main Page…LOL.

I just wanted to share the above with you so that I could share everything with you. I am an open book, and pretty easy to read. I don’t really want much in my life. I just want my kids to go to college and be able to take care of themselves. I want to be able to say that I am a homeowner one of these days. I want to be able to get the vehicle I want, and not have to settle for just anything. I want to eventually find that someone special in my future to settle down with. Not to many things that I really want to do with my life…right? I know I started this off by talking about tomorrow. Why we can’t live in tomorrow and keep it there? Sometimes I think that if we keep looking for tomorrow we will miss today. Maybe I don’t need to be in tomorrow. I don’t know where I want to be right now. I thought I knew once, where I wanted to be. Well things change, right? I had someone tell me some things this weekend, that made me wonder if I was giving it all up? I know that doesn’t make a whole helluva lot of sense. I was told that a missed oppurtunity could be a life altering experince. I told them, I didn’t miss the oppurtunity, I didn’t want to take the oppurtunity. Why? It wouldn’t make a difference. It won’t change the way anyone looks at me. It won’t change the way anyone feels. It won’t make anything any different. So why do it? Well, they told me…it might make a difference in the long run. I told them…the long run may not be what I need or want.

Anyways, I stray from where I should be…this is kinda all over the place!!! I think it’s because I am uber tired. I haven’t been sleeping well, and well it sucks!! Yeah….there I go…blah blah blah!! Well I guess I am gonna stop for the night!! Ya’ll have a wonderful week!! See ya round!!

Hugs and Kisses,

Kitty